Somehow you wouldn't think things could go as wrong as they do.
There's someone. I've never felt this way about anything or anyone and it's unsettling. I'm not used to caring for someone more than I care about myself. The world used to go simply: Me, My Family and Friends and then Everyone Else. My priorities have been shuffled. I feel sick but in a good way. Every time I'm near him the world gets slower and I feel like I'm moving through Jell-O, I can't breathe, I can't think straight, I can't speak, I revert to being a five-year-old. I can't stop looking, whatever scent he's wearing- it is all I can smell, I can feel the heat radiating from him even though I'm nine feet away, every sound he makes is glorious.
Basically he freiking mutilates my senses.
Every ounce of strength goes into not walking over, not wrapping my arms around him and pressing my face to his chest, kissing him, telling him how horrible it is to feel this way. It almost makes me sick to my stomach, sometimes it does. Not five minutes go by in which he doesn't cross my mind. Not three seconds go by in which I feel disgusted for not doing anything. I don't feel good enough for him but all I want is to be with him, really with him. None of that, horizontal macerena stuff. Just sit next to him, doing anything. Even nothing.
This is weird. I'm going to stop now.
C
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